I just go some news today that has upset me more than it should have.  I don’t actually know if upset is the right word for it, I guess unsettle would be more appropriate.

 

I was raised with the motto of “let the sun shine on others” meaning – be happy when something good happens to someone else.  At the moment, I am finding it hard to be.  I am struggling with it and it is making me feel like a total bitch.

 

Without going into specifics, let me just say that I don’t have the best of relationships with this person, but it still does not justify this feeling of resentment I have towards them. 

 

Why can’t I just be happy for this person?  Why can’t I be a bigger person and just let past hurts go?  Why does someone that does not play a part in my life have the power to make me feel so low?  Is it because I give that power to them?  And if so, how do I take it back?

 

I wish I could be one of those people who can just say “Well, FUCK you!!” and move on with my life.  Unfortunately, I’m one of those that will crawl into a corner, curl into a ball, such my thumb and cry big fat crocodile tears while asking myself “Why don’t they like me? What did I do?”

 

Anyway, that is my little pity-party for today.  Thoughts and advice is always welcome!

 

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